The stuff you've written about sure sounds like some pretty powerful emotions from him - if it isn't love, what else would drive him to tear up as he hugs you and drops you off? Threatening that someone wouldn't have a place in someone's house is pretty rough. Do you feel that you could (or should) have acted on your boundaries earlier, before the conversation got to deep, or was it all in your face at once?
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who suggested that i try a therapist!
For what?
RE your Hs IC, I've found that understanding where my thoughts might be coming from are helpful because then I don't "blame" my W for how I might be feeling at a given time - it makes it more possible to accept responsibility for how I act.
Caution? It also makes me remember some of my dreams and goals I had that I shoveled under during the first part of my R. If he's got a good IC or good friends, he'll be reminded about the benefits of the R over those dreams (which are just dreams, not necessarily facts).
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he said he thinks about me and about us so much it's getting to be detremental to his productivity at work.
Wow - do I ever get that. ADHD means hyperfocus, too. I'm trying to cut back, but I feel like if I can't get the M working now, I do NOT want to drag it out for a year of "maybes". I'm always surprised that some people on these boards are still separated two or more years on. The need to solve M problems make work seem so trivial. What is more important - the person you sleep next to in a R, or a job? The job has needs, too, but it is hard to get the dopamine there~
