Stupid is as Stupid Does

[LolaL]

I am better. I think I needed that good cry that I have been trying to avoid. It was really set off by something minor, I had been asking a friend of mine what she was doing this weekend, and felt like I kept getting blown off. Then after all that, I saw that she went out to lunch w/ her daughter and mother, which is not really a big deal and in the grand scheme of things really nice. But I just felt so lost at that point, and I did make the comment to her. Her response was to suck it up, which was 1/2 joke, 1/2 serious, and that just made things worse. I ended up in a two hour crying jag.

I did tell her it was easier said than done to just suck it up. It's not like I enjoy feeling like crap. It's not like I enjoy having to face the fact that the SG is a moron. (BTW, he is now listed on my phone as Stupid German. THAT made me feel ALOT better). It's not like I enjoy any of this, and although I would love to say that the grieving is over, its not. I have hit acceptance, and that is the hardest.

But the thing that I have found is most people do not understand the whole grieving process when you lose someone you love unless they have lost the same, and she hasn't. So I accept the fact that she is uneducated in this aspect, and frankly I am glad she is, because no one should ever have to go through this.

I am rambling...I may do that a lot for the next few days...