When you're a couple sharing is the norm. Paying for college, saving for retirement are just normal things you do reflect responsibility and an eye to the future. It's being a couple, pulling together.
I became a stay at home mom, leaving my career to tend to a sick toddler and the former spouse's episodic mental breakdowns. We talked it over. I viewed it as a long term commitment to marriage. That the risk I was taking in not building a career was nullified by our belief in always being at each other's side, working together. Ooops.
Now he is an angry man who's upset at the 'salary' he has to pay me and I'm all wobbly in entering the job force, at potentially minimum wage earnings.
Entitlement raises it's greedy head during divorce where what was done lovingly is wrenched into purely monetary value.
What I learned is stuff is stuff. You negotiate, keeping what is 'yours', giving her more more of other things. But in the end emotional drama is more expensive and taxing than what is demanded. Although it may hurt, things can be replaced. But peace of mind is priceless.
Go Zen, baby. That will pull the wick out of her candle.
