WAH in MLC with PA

[DiamondGirl]

Though my original plans fell through... I still did a bit of GAL...

- I accidentally met up with a friend I haven't seen in 4 years and we're planning on meeting in the next few days for coffee/catchup

- I stopped in at a friend's business (I heard she had bought it) even though I haven't seen her in a year or so... spent 2 hours catching up... Possibly going ice fishing, a first time for me, with her (though the season is almost over and if warm weather comes that may not happen)

Just a couple things, but it made the day without my kids a little easier and more fun...

[DiamondGirl]

So I figured out why my GAL plans fell through I think... it was a way for me to know that I can have a "kid free" weekend without being sad or crying about sitch...

Plus to reconnect with old friends and allow me the time to join up with some Meetups in my area.. (one is a solo travel group that gets reduced rates! They're going on a Baltic cruise the same week I wanted to get away this year!)

Simply reaffirms the everything happens for a reason premise...

The universe is pretty cool...

[DiamondGirl]

Hubby decided that since his paycheck didn't get put in his account, he gets to take $$ out of our joint.. (he opened a new one just for his pay but didn't end up getting paid in any account hehehe)... not much in total... just enough to annoy me but not screw up my bill payments by much...

Unfortunately I can't just close the account because a mortgage payment bank account change would require his signature...

Coincidentally the withdrawals began soon after our email exchange...

Juvenile!

LOL

[DiamondGirl]

A bit of a rough evening and night last night.

SIL1 dropped the kids off (gee what a surprise! ) Said that H wanted to get an early start to go to OW so she told him she would bring kids back. Since we've been playing phone tag, she wanted a chance to chat with me a bit.

She said that H has not bathed in weeks, and has been only going to school when he feels like it. She thinks he's waiting until funding for 2nd half of schooling comes in and then he'll leave for good to OW. Said she doesn't think he is doing well at school (I guess you have to show up to do well, ya think?)

She said that the same day that H took out the most money from our joint account, he also borrowed money off of her and her husband without each other knowing it. Said they are so fed up with his antics and disrespect. I told her to let him go then and not try and convince him to stay.

She's angry that he broke his promise to me to give me all his pay in exchange for living with her rent free. I told her I was doing okay as I didn't include $$ from him in my budget planning. That I anticipated him not giving me $$ at some point due to his unstable actions.

I know I'll be fine one way or the other as I am trusting life's flow now and not trying to orchestrate things the way I want (I didn't say that to her as she still tries to orchestrate )

She said that he's taken a week off of his part time job for this trip and is paying for the trip through his last pay, that he finally did get in cheque form.

He also rang up her long distance to over $350 in one month talking to OW. So now OW is calling him as SIL told him he couldn't call her anymore. She doesn't anticipate seeing the $$ from him anytime soon.

Her H is a pretty good backyard mechanic and very generous with his help. He told Hubby if he keeps choosing to take the long trips in his $500 get around car, to not call him for a tow if he gets stuck. Hubby, being the OW addict he is, of course won't listen. (Car currently needs brakes and a few other things done.)

My friend who has some empathic ability said she had a vision of H getting stuck in the other country and calling me to bail him out. She said that I did and he started treating me badly again as soon as he got back. I'm not sure if it will come to pass, but it did get me thinking...

Hard time sleeping last night.

I never thought I would ever have to sit by and do nothing as my husband went for a week's fun with another woman.

But I know it has to play out to the end...

It still hurts something fierce though.

[peacetoday]

DG
you sound very strong and wise
to sit back and allow it to happen
to let go of ALL control
the chips will fall where they will for you H
you will be grounded
peace

[DiamondGirl]

Thanks Peace.

I'm not looking forward to when he comes back.

I expect a renewed resolve from him to "get things finalized" so he can move on.

I'm actually wishing he'd just go down there and spend some constant time with her so she can truly see how screwed up he is right now... But then again, she may be just as screwed up and like him that way..

Grr.. spending too much energy even thinking about it.

No point to really... Things will happen as they are supposed to, unfortunately, it doesn't mean as quickly as I'd like them to.

[DiamondGirl]

Posting this link to HB's Sermons from the archives so I can access/view it later. I can't save favourites on my work comp...

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=96158#Post96158

[DiamondGirl]

Struggling to keep the hope alive... I keep feeling as if H's affair is going to be one of the permanent ones.. I know I've seen signs of fracture, but that could just be "settling in" pains..

I'm trying not to go down that path in my head (wasted energy) but it just really hurts to know that right now he's with her and possibly strengthening their bond...

[DiamondGirl]

I have to get out of this frame of mind... I have 5 more days of it to live through before he comes back probably to bug me about the custody docs/divorce process...

[Jack_Three_Beans]

...

probably...
Possibly...
maybe...

Quandry.

How are you doing with those thoughts in your head? Getting things done? Being productive? Making you smile?

Look, you have no idea what they are doing, or what he is going to do. And your wasting your day dwelling on these...ideas.

The monsters in your head are as big as you let them be. And they are usually not as big as you imagine them to be.