WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[confusedinpa]

Hey Stuck - didn't recogniz you with your new handle! What's the occassion?

It's been crazy snowy here so the boys and I have been spending a lot of time clearing our driveway. I got them snow scooters (sorta like a razor scooters without wheels) from craigslist (2 for $35 - great deal) so we've been having a lot of fun with them. She had them this past weekend though.....

It was really rough on Friday as it snowed so much school was cancelled so she worked from her apt so she kept the boys with her (normally I watch my youngest and pick up/drop off my oldest from school so I've been seeing them almost every day). It was the first day in a loooong time that I didn't see my boys at all. My youngest called me up a few times hysterical that he wasn't getting to see me. He kept saying how she wouldn't bring him home. I tried to calm him down but he just kept saying he wanted to come home. He said that he was sitting in his and his brother's bedroom by himself as she was doing something and his brother was just watching TV. I was really sad but tried to be strong. It really pissed me off that she wasn't there trying to help him.

Then on Sat I get a letter from my lawyer to tell me her lawyer filed a motion to compell me to provide financial statements. It was pissed as if she wanted my financial statements (so we could split the assets), she should have just asked. Now we have another court date (with the associated lawyer fees) in 2 weeks.

I went out with my cousin for after dinner drinks Sat nite. I talked to my boys as I drove down there. It was good to get out and unwind.

I was suppose to meet up with one of my friends tonite for after dinner drinks, but it got to late. I was a little bumming about that but I wasn't really in the right mood to go out tonite anyway.

She called a few times today. Once to ask about doing taxes (she dropped a hint that she was going to have to take a loan out to pay her share of the taxes). A second time she was asking if our youngest was still sucking a his thumb. I told her not so much. She said that she thinks that's why he was so upset on Friday, that he was trying not to suck his thumb. Unbelievable..... she just really doesn't want to believe it's because he just wanted to come home. I just said whatever and hung up.

Then she called a third to ask about switching days with me, I couldn't do it as I had an interview that day so that ended that conversation pretty quick.

Not sure why I'm in such a crappy mood today, I should be pretty good as I'll see my boys tomorrow and it was fun going out last nite.... although maybe it was the 2 bottles of wine we drank ;-p

So the divorce train continues......

To be honest, I don't see being happy with her even if she wanted to come back. I know I would try for my boys, but I really can't imagine getting back to a place where I could see her as my wife.

I know that's not a popular thing to say on a Divorce busting forum, but that's really the reality. I know that I couldn't have gotten through these 14+ months of h**l without you and others here. I do thank everyone for that.

I will keep journaling here until this divorce train ride is over.........

Thanks again