feel like giving up - pt 2

[Getting old]

W told me today "this isn't working, she is crying at work and sense the kids trying to fix us".... She said there were 2 options in her mind D or S. I told her an S makes more sense than D. She asked if I would move out? I said no and she said she didn't want to leave the kids...we have an extra b'room in the basement...she asked if she should go down there or will I? I said I would. How does this separation stuff work in the same house? We are going to tell our daughters tonight we are just trying to work things through.

[luvless]

I'm so sorry Now - it's gonna be hard to talk to the kids

My H is on the couch now for 2 weeks (at my request) You are just going to have to keep to yourself. Be polite but avoid her.

You have a chance to show her you've changed some things about you. Get yourself a life and be happy! Let her know what she'll miss. Be supportive to the kids and stay strong for them.

Good luck and stay consistent.

[Getting old]

Are you still sharing mealtime? What about bathroom/closet space etc?

[luvless]

Yes, H is still in my room for his stuff in closet and he uses our bathroom. We do eat together sometimes (not lately because he is gone on biz so much) and even go to lunch or dinner together.

It's awful. I feel so disconnected.

[kara]

Luv

You have a lot of opportunities with your H. How are you making it work for you? Have you checked out mentally?

[luvless]

No Kara, I think it's H who has checked out mentally. I am trying to detach really hard without becoming resentful.

How I'm making it work is the time we do spend together (which is rare) I just try to be "me" and try not to think about the relationship and how bad it really is.

It seems that everyone here thinks I have an advantage in my sitch but I just don't see it. I'm trying to stay positive though.

[TBL]

Ok, my turn to join here. I am new to this site. I have a 12 year marriage with 2 8 year old twins. Wife states does not love me and never did.

I have made dramatic changes for her over last 1.5 years, but nothing works. She cringes in my presence (never been any physical fights)

She was having at least an emotional affair with a guy I know.

She is going to retrouvaille this weekend, but I think to improve our post divorce relationship.

Did anyone try retrouvaille and did it help?

Tryingbutlosig

______
M 44
H 42
2 8 yr old twins
bomb (2nd drop 8-09)"I can't do this anymore"

[hanging in there]

Luv,
I can't pretend to say I know how hard this is to go through with your H still in the house. I have not seen my H since Xmas day which ended horrible. On one hand it would be nice to have him here to see the changes I have made but on the other it would be too difficult to deal with everyday. I commend you and how strong you are becoming for you and your children

You are doing an amazing job and I look forward to learning and finally stopping the madness I have created in the last year.

[luvless]

Thank you so much (((((hit)))))))

[luvless]

TBL - gotta start your own thread