Looking for help with WAW

[mza8]

Sandi, sorry, I think I was vague about what I want to tell me W. From Puppy's post I would take out the part about OM as I don't think that applies in my sitch. What I was thinking about saying to W was the part about admiting my part of the problems in M that contributed to us being where we are today. I would tell her that I cannot agree with how she cut and run out on our M. That I would be willing to go to MC only to work on our M and not for closure. Also add that I don't want us to have any regrets in the future (and I think she would) that we didn't at least try. Problem is as I type this some of it sounds like pursuing. Difficult to know when the timing is right.

That's pretty much all that I would want to say to W. I'm trying not to fall into making more out of today than what it was. However, at least her demeanor did change a bit for the better today. My DB coach says to be observant of small positive changes in W which might show small signs of change in her behavior.

I agree with your last few posts to me that it will take my W a long time to regain the trust and lose the anger...if it ever does. In the meantime I feel like I am at least not doing anything to push her further away. It's very confusing to know if any of the DB things that I am doing are working. When I go back and think about the past 4 months I do see differences. She calls me now instead of emailing. She meets with me face to face without her family in attendance. She shares some personal information with me now. Some other small things too.

Thanks again for all of your advice. Helps me keep things in perspective and keep me on track. I'm not trying to reach for any fals hope, instead just keep my eyes open to any improvement.

Thank you again.