However, you can't criticize her into working on them.
You can't IGNORE them either.
Re her "filling in blanks" to conclude you had an affair.
Well, that may be her own issues, it may also be how you negotiate... it may be both.
Trust is a VERY delicate piece of glass to juggle.. if it breaks, its VERY hard to piece it back together.
I don't know the content of what your wife read to think you were cheating... you are just telling us it wasn't an affair...
Well, that makes ME not trust you.. its just defensiveness. Defensiveness BREEDS distrust.
If your spouse accuses you of an affair... saying "no I didn't.." or "no i am not" isn't the constructive way to handle that.. its the ARGUMENTATIVE way.
Whomever she thinks you were TOO CLOSE TO, immediately terminate that relationship. Open up your email, phone records, EVERYTHING.. right on the SPOT.. not in ANGER or to DEFEND yourself... just to love your spouse and ease her worry.
Most of your post here and in your other thread is defensive and critical... This is NOT how to win over your spouse.
I am NOT saying she's perfect... I am NOT saying she doens't have issues to work on, but I AM saying that you arne't helping her work on them by being defensive or critical.
I am confident your wife has buttons that will make her react to you more positively, but we need to find those... right now I suspect you are hitting all the ones to make her panic and attack.
