I think ultimatums are bad ideas unless you are farther down the road than you are. I mean if you were truly ready to file for d or else, then I'd say okay. but your "agreement" seems more like you imposing your will on her. I'm NOT defending her, okay? But you speak of agreements and I think of mutually beneficial terms that both consent to without duress. Not what you seem to be describing. I mean if She truly consented would you have this problem? Also what do the kids actually know? Are you highlighting and calling attnetion to something they might have missed otherwise? Are you making it worse, at lest for them? I'm throwing this all out for you to consider...
I guess the OM doesn't impress me much as a threat to you, nor do her actions seem to be the actions of a woman who doesn't care about the future with you, but she strikes me as if she feels she's not truly crossing her own line, and therefore to her, you are overreacting...I'm guessing. But she made positive comments to you so perhaps she's measuring things so what are you accomplishing by whining and getting mad so often? I'm betting OM acts fun and pleasant (or crazy and paranoid so it's better to contrast with his negatives and not show her any, correct? I mean-recall the goal here...) I definitely do feel you give this stuff way too much focus. Sorry but that's how I see it.
Look, She was in an area where OM was, AND where there were "witnesses" who'd tell you if something wildly inappropriate happened, right? A part of me has the urge to say "so what?" What if, until if and when that happens, you just drop this?
Your approach is NOT working. That's clear. To me, it also makes you look bad, imo. So leave this alone and be the best man you can be and make the choice clear to her. I wonder if you muddy the waters with your temper about this...
j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
