thanks everyone... seems so hard to stop. I went through days without any contact and i actually feel better those days, knowing that i dont have to expect any communication back. Im 30, he's 31. He told me several days before christmas that he didnt love me anymore. I nearly died. there were no arguments leading up to this, no signs, nothing. I keep thinking i was stupid and naive. Everyone around us says they always thought he adored me and loved me so much. Guess not enough.

he denies anyone else, and ive searched through every thing, cell phone records, credit card statements, etc. Nothing. But i do believe there is someone who has his heart. No one leaves for no reason. Not a baby on the way. sometimes we talk and we can be civil, for the most part its constant arguing. we met at the ultrasound the other day, hadnt seen each other in weeks. he was somewhat normal, i wasnt. he said he loved me (like a friend im sure) and he held my hand, i was more distant that he was. but that night reality hit and i was celebrating my baby son all by myself. he claims he wants to be a part of the baby's life. and he doesnt understand why we cant be friends... because he says we were best friends and can still be. Really? i want my husband back not a friend?

i really need to stop contacting him. even my psychologist thinks this is bazaar. I was always pretty intuitive and feel things, and I guess Im not because i was completely blindsided and didnt see this coming. We planned a baby for god's sake! we talked about what our life would be like when he was done school, this summer, what we planned to move, how we wanted to live life now that school was out of the way! he is not a child, he is a grown man.

you dont just stop loving someone. i dont believe it. not without the other person knowing. that's why i believe he fell for someone else, and left the first chance he could.

he agreed to go to counseling together to learn how to co-exist in the baby's life, but not for us, because he doesnt feel anything for me anymore. My psych thinks they are going to start with us and what happened to us before we can make any headway. not sure he knows this and im not telling him. he is only truly excited and happy when he talks about the baby. What about me? i feel used.

thanks for listening or reading. not really sure how this all works but i dont know where else to turn. i need help.