As for the words of a relationship versus an affair I think the reason it is/was important to me is I want her to face the emotional costs of what she has done and it seems to me that accepting that she has actually done something wrong is a part of that. In her mind a relationship wasn't wrong but an affair is so if she labeled it the former then...no guilt.
Okay, you need to know this in your heart of hearts.....she will not get away with doing wrong. Nobody gets by with doing wrong. It may "appear" to others that they didn't pay for their wrong...but sooner or later, they do. In some way--some how....they reap what they sow. But, I read this in so many of the LBH's threads, and it's as if they worry about their WAW getting an affair, breaking up the family, and leaving the M....without experiencing any guilt. She probably would not allow "you" to know it if she had tons of guilt. Don't you realize that? You are the enemy! She will hide guilt from herself as well as everyone else...but especially "you".
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All my friends tell me that most likely she'll wake up someday and realize what she has done I just hate seeing her put the kids behind her affair partner. She pushes those boys out the door when its time for them to come home to my house to the point that she will drop them off to an empty house. I told her I would not do the same with her and I felt it was wrong to do that and I would only drop the boys off to an occupied home. They are not property to be moved around at will.
Yes, she probably will...and if she is M to the OM when she wakes up, then she will probably try to make the most of it, but who knows. I hear what you are saying about how she does the boys, and it won't help you feel any better to tell you...but I will....this is typical of the WAW in an A.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
