It sounds like you are in a better place now then when I first read your post.
I think you are doing the wise thing here. Your wife is able to express to you that she needs time...that time may be for her to see how YOU do in making yourself over...it may be for her to actually work on herself...whatever the case TIME is always needed. The fact that she is willing to stay, has ended the online "folly", has not filed for divorce and is somewhat open to the idea that maybe she might after all is said and done be in a place to love you again is a HUGE pluse.
Most who are going through a crisis need TIME...time requires PATIENCE...give her time, show her patience...and as Bill advised, stop talking about...just work on you, keep getting a life like you have been, give her the space she is needing, and there is hope that this might work out...TIME TIME and more TIME
Very few healed/renewed relationships here happened quickly or on the timeline that we wanted...but when it happened we were able to look back and see how important that TIME was for us too.
