!Help! Need Advice and encouragement!

[sandi2]

Hi Stark, glad to see an update. You wanted me to take a look at page 3. Guess you just want an opinion, maybe?

First of all, I agree with the others about the FB. It is taking the higher ground by not posting something to her about her mixed up "Christian" values, but try to think of her as acting very "high schoolish" and that you are the mature one here. I get frustrated at some people (like your W) who apparently have their own waky idea of what sin is and what being in God's will is. But that gives you a picture of how fogged her brain is. I have talked to people who are not a WAS and found out that many have their own standards and some of it is crazy. Have you noticed how on TV these days that the most jaded movie star (for enxample) may die and everyone just assumes he/she is accepted into heaven? Well.....guess I better not get off into a lot of doctrine, but it goes to show just how little people know.

My daughters are getting baptized Sunday-

So happy to hear this! I hope the thing with their mom doesn't screw their belief up too much.

she posted about how "Jesus died for all of us" and she's not afraid to "take center stage for Jesus"--

Well, she is right about the first part, but I'm not sure what she means about taking center stage for Jesus. If you've heard that expression before, and the correct meaning behind it...I would be interested in knowing what it. But, yes your W has convinced herself the God has no problem with what she's doing. I believe that God gives His wayward children time to get things in their life straight--and start living like they should....but after a time and we refuse to do it, then things can come crashing down. She is in for a rude awakening.

I don't have false hopes she will have a change of heart, or anything,

Prayer has a lot of power behind it when it is for unselfish motives. Pray and trust God to put just the right words in the Pastor's message that would convict your W's heart of what she's doing. My problem was always keeping myself out of God's business. I wanted to help Him! But God will do more through other people's words to reach your W, more than yours. B/c she is tuned out to you and is resentful toward you, so she won't listen to you. That takes your faith and your patience to trust God to reach her through others.

Don't be surprised if she goes to Church acting like "Sister Christian" b/c she will not want any guilt to show. She will try to put up a big front. However, only God will read her heart.

My daughters are trying to get me to shop for a new Mama.

There are probably a couple of reasons behind that. They don't want their mother "replaced", but they just want the pain to stop (for them and for you) and they want things to be like a normal home again. They want to see you happy, too, and think this is the answer. You will have to address the issue with them and explain that it doesn't exactly work that way.

I want to caution you about rebound realtionships. So many second M's do not work out b/c it was a rebound. If you have a second M, you sure want it to be the real thing. I just do not believe people fall in & out of love that fast. I always shudder whenever I see a anyone get M right after one of them is newly divorced. Take your time. There is a lot of fun in being single and dating. No use in being in any hurry to have a M right away. Besides, you are far from being over your M to your W and it would not be fair to another woman, right?