Oh one thing I forgot to mention. He had taken the kids shopping on Tuesday to get me bday presents. He asked on Sat if I liked the presents the kids got me. When I told him that I didn't get anything. He was very sorry, and said he felt really bad, I could tell it made him feel bad. I just said that it was no big deal.
Also, he found out that I had bought my own bday cake and arranged my own party with my family. That to made him feel bad. I just ignored him and again said it was no big deal.
OK,
1. NEVER accept a PRESENT or GIFT from a spouse who is CHEATING on you.. hes' trying to buy off his GUILT 2. NEVER tell your spouse "no big deal", "fine", or "I'm ok"... you are HURT, MISERABLE, and VIOLATED... do NOT act CASUAL... be CALM but DIRECT and COMMITTED
Do NOT wave off things and act casual, its sends the wrong message...
NEVER accept a gift from a cheating spouse... NEVER... TELL them OUTRIGHT you will NOT accept a gift from him while he's in contact with OW.. PERIOD.
When he shows or says that he feels bad, IGNORE IT.. say NOTHING... when you say "it's OK", he STOPS FEELING GUILTY
You want him to SQUIRM.. why would you LET him off the HOOK when guilt is pressing him? let him DROWN in it... THAT is PRESSURE to END the AFFAIR... don't throw him a rope and tell him its not a big deal... watch him DROWN.
if your children do something bad and show guilt, do you let them off the hook and tell them its not a big deal?
