He does not want me to obtain a lawyer.. he is a lawyer and doesn't think it is necessary.
I don't think you necessarily need to file (although I personally probably would), but I do think it is high time you met with a good family law attorney, and begin to take CONTROL of this situation. Right now, your marriage is in the hands of the one person who -- sadly -- doesn't have its best interests at heart.
Retain the attorney, get your name on those accounts (he will need to fully disclose all of the assets as part of any divorce action anyway), and let that attorney handle all of these details.
