Honey, there is only one way to get a baby to sleep through the night. You have to stop going to her! i know it's hard. Believe me, I never thought I'd get through that first night of trying it with my oldest. But I did. And the next night he only cried once. And the night after that he slept through.
You need to decide what the schedule is. If you are going to feed her in the middle of the night, then decide how many hours after she falls asleep that you will feed her. And then only go to her at that time. Yes, she will cry a really long time the first night. But then she will eventually cry herself to sleep. And the next night, it won't be as long. But if you go to her after a long time of crying, then you are teaching her that eventually you will come, so keep it up! You have to teach her that there is no point in crying, you won't come. That's when she will stop.
babies sleeping and not sleeping...btdt...OMG it sucks. But you CAN improve it and you both will be better off. It's time for being a parent, in a really hard way. You can comfort her at first,..oh, what does the book say, "once with words, then comfort with your presence but with silence but a tucking in and then nothing else...."?? so read up on the methods b/c they do work and I'm talking from memory. I KNOW I got up one night 27 times...and was pregnant with our 2nd child and could not keep up the whole all night thing and if it weren't for the coming baby I probably would have wimped out. Seemed easier to let him stay in our bed but boy it wasn't...not in the long run. j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Thank you Lotus and 25. With my other 3 kids I was so much better about getting them to sleep on their own. But things were much different then. I was in a somewhat stable M, life was ok. With this baby.. she has been my do-over...Plus since she was soooo small and exh and I were in the think of the mess right before he left I was very protective of her. I felt like I couldn't leave her alone with him for even a second. He was drinking alot and we weren't getting along at all. I had to put her in the bathroom in her carseat just to take a shower. Then when he left when she was 4 months old I became very very protective. Almost like a momma bear.
Tonight we will continue the sleep transition. I last for awhile, then I get really tired and give up.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Last night was better. She slept longer periods of time.
Yesterday morning I got a text from exh's d13. She hasn't seen baby since probably Xmas. She asked if she could come and see baby. I said sure, that I will be home till 10 (it was 8:30) and please let me know when she was coming. She said what I thought was 10-15 mintues but actually said 10:15. I waited and waited and she didn't show. I figured out I read her text wrong and said maybe this aftternoon. I went to Coscto and came home, baby was sleeping, and I was about to unload groceries when exh called. I ignored. He called 3 times. I sent a text "whats up?" He immediately called back and he was so out of it. He had been drinking quite a bit. Asked me what baby was doing and I said I had a carful from Costco and needed to go. He asked what we bought, why I was in such a hurry etc. I wish I could have recorded the call. I am so surprised after knowing how I feel about the drinking and me keeping baby from him as long as he continues that he didn't hide behind a text and actually called. I was short and said I was busy and had to go. Never heard from him again.
Exh's d13 sent a text 10 minutes later wanting to come over. I said she was sleeping but will text when she woke up. I did and she said her dad couldn't bring her now because hes sleeping, so maybe another time. Wow...
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Keep to SOME routine with the baby. Gabby's mom--let the dang baby have her binky until if and when you are replacing it with something else at night. Our first kids didn't get binkys' for long, thanks to my mother. ...but the last one, I let her keep it til the "peer pressure" of her pre-school decreased it's use, and then by kindergarten, it was gone. So glad we didn't get the same hassle from my mother & others who feel free to comment on it. Few if any dental problems have been proved to be caused by binkys since they're baby teeth but heck ALL 3 of ours got braces and only 1 had a binky for long.
S2, your h is sliding downwards...who protects his other kids from him? NO, it is NOT your job to protect her, but I do feel sorry for that girl.
Good luck with the sleep thing-it helps all areas of your life. j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
S2, your h is sliding downwards...who protects his other kids from him? NO, it is NOT your job to protect her, but I do feel sorry for that girl.
j-
Nobody protects his other kids. Thier mother lives in Denial land dispite years of knowing who this man was/is...took me awhile to get it but not as long as her! She still likes him for rides and help as she has her own new family with her new husband.
So exh missed his visit again today. Didn't even call or text...until 6! I just went about my day so it didn't bother me too much. He asked how she was, but when he sent it we were right about to have dinner. I waited 30 minutes and said "shes fine". He then asked what was wrong as I have seemed a bit down lately! WTF! No jerk! I am short and to the point with you, otherwise cheery! I said I am fine and all is good...he said "your lying".
I am surprised the guys head fits through the door! I am sure he thinks I MUST still be down about him!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
"Night to you and baby! Luv and kisses to you both"
HAHAHAHAHA! Seriously delusional.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Going shopping today for baby's bday stuff. Her birthday isn't till the end of the month, but want to get it done.
Just dawned on me that exh's new concern for us is due to her upcoming birthday and wanting to make sure he is included...Just like the Xmas fiasco.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I said I am fine and all is good...he said "your lying".
What a drunk dickhead!
I would cease or majorly cut down with texting. I think his lame messages are just pissing you off too much (which is understandable). Phone calls are the way to go.
My X and I communicate predominately by phone or email and it works great. Texting is annoying.
...but the last one, I let her keep it til the "peer pressure" of her pre-school decreased it's use, and then by kindergarten, it was gone. So glad we didn't get the same hassle from my mother & others who feel free to comment on it. Few if any dental problems have been proved to be caused by binkys since they're baby teeth but heck ALL 3 of ours got braces and only 1 had a binky for long.