How do I expose the affair

[mb28]

Allen,
I have told my H that I do not want a D several times the last few weeks. I wanted to list the things he keeps repeating to me over and over again when we have talked the last few weeks.

We need to just move on

I feel like I’ll regret either decision I make, D or M

I just don’t see how we can ever come back from this

What will it take for you to be done

You don’t really love me

I can’t do this again, it will kill me

I’m confused and lost

I’m a different person now

I want my old life back

I can’t remember the last time we were happy – I’ve given him examples of some happy times. However they are mostly with us doing things; trips, parties, etc. And he replies with “see we can’t be happy with just each other”

We’ve tried, and it didn’t work – I’ve replied with telling him that we have not tried together, it’s only been one of us at a time.

I’ve been miserable for 4 years – This is where I tell him that I had no idea he felt that way. And that he did me wrong by not telling me all this time that is how he felt. He agrees with this. However, he says that if had told me I would have gotten mad, and he just didn’t want to fight.

Some of these I respond too, but most I just validate with “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I understand why you feel that way”