Thank you DG. This is pretty difficult because he was apparently troubled by something and him wanting to talk. Not sure if it was to discuss his "Dvrc" or was he really trying to open up.
I took the advice of everyone today and removed myself from any discussion with him. My H needs to think about his actions. Normally, when I have seen or talked to him, he is always ANNOYED and angry with me. He didn't appear that way, but maybe that is because I didn't say much to him at all and for once I DID NOT ask any questions.
I just pray that he is okay and begins to think carefully about his choices.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
This is pretty difficult because he was apparently troubled by something and him wanting to talk. Not sure if it was to discuss his "Dvrc" or was he really trying to open up.
They say around here to believe nothing of what he says and 50% of what he does. If he really wants to open up he will find a way to communicate with you with out talking. Believe me he will. Otherwise stay NC for now. You have more control than you think. You certainly don't need to start his venom and spew.
Yes he is troubled and things are bothering him, however it is not something you can FIX! Unless of course you just want to cave in and get the big D.(and even that won't really fix anything)
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I just pray that he is okay and begins to think carefully about his choices.
I doubt he is OK and you need to stay away from him to keep yourself OK!
Destiny, The book is slow in the beginning, but it does pick up about mid way. It's pretty much the same as his other books. He has to "lead" up to the interesting parts.
I have to agree w/OP, stay NC for a while longer. You are getting stronger and the less contact you have w/him during his crazy making time, the better. If he truly wants to talk to you, he will find a way to do so w/o all of the drama. Do not feel guilty for avoiding him. As for the anger, etc., it's not at you for who you are, but he's just lashing out and he feels safe in doing so w/you. Unfortunately, he doesn't realize or care how he sounds right now. You are doing well in distancing yourself from his drama.
I do hope that you enjoy your Sunday. Do something special for yourself today.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I just returned from my Pilates class and feel pretty good. This was the first GAL things I did for myself today. GAL activities for today:
1) Go to my Pilates class - DONE
2) Organize music on IPOD - been wanting to do this for over a year. I have no real playlists and need them to help me stay encouraged when I am running. - IN PROGRESS
3) Meet a friend for late lunch
4) Watch a movie that I have been wanting to see for the last few years (my H never wanted to see anything I wanted to see)
5) Take a long bath and continue reading my book
I think this is good way to relax on a Sunday before the workweek begins......
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
Okay..why did I answer the phone without looking at the caller ID first? Because I was rushing out to lunch.
It was my H and he wanted to tell me that it appears that I did not care that he was here on yesterday and that I did not demonstrate that I was happy to see him. The NERVE!!!!!
He said that I (ME) have to "demonstrate through my actions!!!!" WTF?
He also said that, I should "stop talking about all the psychological BS and speak in relative terms. Talk about what you are going to do today and not what happened six years ago."
It was like he was yelling at me for everything that I did up until 2 weeks ago.
Yes, I did the pleading, crying, begging, bargaining, and I felt good over the last few days because I began to take back control.
He then threw around the D word saying we "so, we still need to separate everything". I told him that I really had work to do and that I was meeting someone so I didn't have time. He said fine, and hung up (didn't even say goodbye).
What is going on with him? Geez!
Off to lunch.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
DU - My H said something similar to me not long after he walked. We were talking (before I found DBing)and I was asking him about coming home and he said why, "When I came to pick up the Ds the other day you didn't even come and say hi to me." Huh???
Destiny, Sounds like your man (child) didn't get the attention from mom yesterday that he thought he should have. Poor baby. Did he think that you would throw out the red carpet and do a bow to him just because he was there? Nada.
He is also attempting to project on to you what he's feeling and from the "bs" of the conversations of what you did 6 years ago...Please don't buy into his drama. Poor man....
Talk about a temper tantrum....and then to toss out the "d" word once again.
I think you handled it quite well. After all, you were on your way out to lunch. Let him stew...I hope you enjoyed your day.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Yes, I had a great lunch. I forgot what it was like to just meet friends for lunch on the weekend. I haven't done that in years.
He (my H) confuses me at times and to use the D word after chastizing me for not acknowledging his presence. I did not break down, I am surprised and feel a sense of accomplishment. I do worry about the D, but I guess I cannot fear it.
I love this crazy MLCer. I just hope I can hold on to this ride without falling off.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
