Returned WAW,she had PA, Struggling, Sandi2 help..

[Gnosis]

Welcome back G&T and sorry to see you here.

Do you remember my post to you on Nov 9, 2009? This one here...

Gyn I don't post here very often and I've read your thread. I've held off offering you any advice because you have been getting stellar advice... unfortunately you either seem to forget it or ignore it.

My comments on this latest escapade: In my humble opinion, you're getting played. You're letting her have her cake and eat it. Every time you start withdrawing and enforcing a boundary she tugs on your strings and has you jumping about like a little puppy. Can you see that? Please tell me you can.

e.g. You told her no more hugging... she tells you what you want to hear and keep you waiting, without committing to breaking it off with OM.

This is the way I see your situation based on the information you have provided:

You're being set up for a big fall in two or three years time. She is looking into a future without you. She has taken up her studies to prepare herself for a life without you. Her intention is to continue stringing you along and having you take care of her financial needs while she gets her emotional and other needs taken care of by the OM. Assuming she knows it won't last with him, she is using both of you (and anyone else) to selfishly satisfy all her requirements until she gears herself up for a better life.

You haven't provided any information about the OM, besides the fact that he's married and has been booted out of his house. Is your wife perhaps the reason he has been "evicted" from the marital home? It sure sounds like it.

I hope that you re-read the advice people have given you. Take their advice, formulate a game plan and stick to it. Remember, every time you have backed off your wife runs toward you. THIS WORKS. Keep up the activities that WORK. Pursuing her doesn't, rejecting her does. Weird isn't it? ... or as @robx likes to call it: counter-intuitive.

I wish you the best G&T.

I know we're not supposed to mind read, but felt I needed to "back up" my statements above.

She told me that she wants to be back by Xmas.

WAW translator:
Xmas is holiday time. College is closed. I won't need OM to drive me around anymore, so I'll go home for a while to keep G&T happy until college opens again then be on my merry way.

She did not think that she would still be at her brothers and that she thought she would have been back by now.

Huh? Then where is the OM going to stay? Remember she BEGGED him no to leave her a few days ago.
WAW translator: Got to get G&T back in line.

She says she can see and likes the changes in me. She asked for me to be utterly truthful and asked me if I had sought legal advice. She seemed to be very worried that I had gotten legal advice.

WAW translator: Has G&T finally had enough of my crappy behavior? Is he going to get rid of me and ruin my future plans?

She gave me a big, long, strong hug when she left and held my hand.

WAW translator: Bingo! Mission accomplished. He's got his hopes up again.

In other words, without any commitment made on her part she has you back under her thumb. I'm truly sorry G&T but I don't see anything mentioned of where she intends to truly reconcile with you.

To get her back you're going to have to keep doing what works.

I see that you're hellbent on being a masochist and you thrive on the pain she inflicts on you. From what I have seen, you have learned NOTHING. I'm sorry to see that.

EDIT: Isn't the new semester/year starting up again soon? Well, I can see the affair flaring up again too when they are in daily contact with each other and in study groups together.