You are carefully parsing and phrasing every one of your sentences in your post to me so as to try to answer your own questions the way you want me to answer them.
It's your choice. You can trust the pyromaniac with the matches "just a little, and monitor" the fire that it will cause. Or you can do everything you can to get rid of the matches and the kerosene.
Your post is so full of holes I hardly know where to start, so I'll just say two things -- one story, and one question.
The Story:
My wife was a SAHM for 20 years while she raised our four kids. Her dream was to become a certified personal trainer. She studied. She networked with other trainers. She crammed for her certification. She passed. She started at the bottom, and SLOWLY built up her clientele, and she was damned proud (and rightfully so) of the go she was making of it. Unfortunately, she also made the foolish decision to have an affair with another employee at the gym, and when she told me tearfully that she wanted to try and work on our marriage, and she would "do whatever it takes," the first thing on my list of four "dealbreakers" was that she had to quit her job.
IMMEDIATELY.
No two-week notice, just go in the next day, and resign, and ask that her clients be reassigned. I made the decision that our marriage was more important to me than her job, and that we needed to do AS MUCH AS WE COULD to minimize her contact with OM. I also told her I COMPLETELY UNDERSTOOD if she didn't want to do this.
She did it -- to her credit. It tore her up, but that was two years ago, and by this past November she had completely built up her clientele and then some, and is now going out on her own to try to become even more profitable.
