Very good advice RobX. The only other thing that I could add would be to include that you are not going to share your spouse with anyone else. If she choses to be with someone else, you can not stop her. Make sure to include in all of this that these are her choices that she is not making. You can validate all she says, but do not let her place the blame on you. You can expect her to use major deference to put it back on you.
You could but it still talks present tense, you want to talk in the past tense as in you're done, moving on and then act consistently to show this is true.
I wouldn't bother with telling her that those are her choices, that part is obvious, the part that hasn't been obvious are your choices & actions, instead you've been waiting, reacting, holding back, and that is living 50% of your life always waiting for the next thing to do based on what your wife is doing - just move on, actions always speak louder than words.
Don't be an a$$hole or a prick, be pleasant and happy about all of this, you've regained your freedom based on your choice to move on and you're happy because she can have the OM because she can't have you anymore - that's your choice to remove yourself as a list of options to her.
