Moving on with my life!

[Startingover2]

I get that Kevin...and I wouldn't want to miss my older kids stuff either, but its really hard for me to be accomodating for that when its yet just another excuse and he blows baby off all the time for random things as well. I take those hours and make them exh's, even over my other kids. I have said no to my own children things during exh's time.

[Startingover2]

Wow...just saw that my friend and exh just exchanged phone numbers. I am so done.

[bright_new_day]

Ewwwww. That's all.

[Startingover2]

Ewwwww. That's all.

I know! I feel sick...I told her everything about what he did and how I felt and still feel. She knows every nasty name I described him as, how I insisted on supervised visits and why. When he did this and that. I really thought we were better friends! Now I fear that she will reveal to him everything I have shared.

[bright_new_day]

That is why I asked about her knowing X's 1st wife. I may be a bit paranoid, but I was wondering if 1st wife sent her on a fact finding mission, becaue you have said in the past that she backs up X in his ridiculous claims. Now that you know she is also his friend you will have to put her in a different column....unfortunate.

[Startingover2]

She hasn't seen exw for years either.

Isn't there some unwritten rule that you don't scam on your friends ex's? Especially those ex's that were horrible and cruel to your friend?

[25yearsmlc]

what diff does it make if she tells him what you said if it's all true? IF it's not true or you are revealing strategies, then learn from this and stop ASAP....or is it B/C he'll be mad that you are telling folks? Okay, let him be...try to be more discreet b/c really you do NOT benefit in any way by airing dirty laundry and it keeps you stuck in anger, not moving on, looking petty or vindictive or worse, and apparently, it energizes him in a bad way...enough.

Move on, and don't let any of this poop into your center....know what I mean? This "data" is not important. This "friend" is not important. Your X h's opionion of you, your behavior, your m, the color of the moon or whether Pluto really should be considered a planet, are NOT IMPORTANT in the grand scheme of things...trivial pursuits....seriously....

The times your h is NOT with your d are GOOD b/c you don't have to deal with him and neither does she. Be grateful for the peace and seek more of it. Why complain about THAT? Have you joined a church group or some spiritual outlet? I think it'd be a good idea b/c in a way, you simply have too much time on your hands even though you are "busy" with baby...your mind is not occupied enough, imo, and so you go to dark places and you need to stop that. Make sense? You DO have some control and some choice here, so exercise it...I'm rooting for you.

j-

[Startingover2]

That is pretty much what a good friend (one that thinks exh is pond scum) said. She said its just me and baby too much and I have completely lost me. That i need to find more sitters for baby rather than just my d18 and go out more. Get dressed up, get some attention etc. That all of my thoughts should not revolve around exh and his crap. By attention she didn't mean hooking up with anyone or even finding a date...just getting out and feeling good about me.

[Startingover2]

what diff does it make if she tells him what you said if it's all true? IF it's not true or you are revealing strategies, then learn from this and stop ASAP....or is it B/C he'll be mad that you are telling folks? Okay, let him be...try to be more discreet b/c really you do NOT benefit in any way by airing dirty laundry and it keeps you stuck in anger, not moving on, looking petty or vindictive or worse, and apparently, it energizes him in a bad way...enough.



j-

Everything I told her was the truth. It was more we were catching up and getting close again after all of these years. I don't care if she tells him what I said although it would suck for him to know everything I told her about how I was feeling. Its more of this betrayel feeling. Like she knew how much this devastating man hurt me and kids and still sought him out. I felt like she was a good friend again and it was nice having someone to do things with.

[Startingover2]

I feel like I got run over by a bus! Baby does not sleep well and it keeps me from being able to do things...go out, study, watch tv, sleep! Anyway I decided yesterday we would start making some adjustments and get her in her own bed. OMG she went to bed at 8:30 and was up 10 times by midnight! I walked back and forth from my room to hers that many times. Finally I got sick of that and brought her to bed with me and tried the rest of the night to get her to sleep a bit longer at a stretch. It was a disaster! I never really noticed how many times she wakes up until last night as I am usually half asleep myself. Normally she is up at least 6 or so times per night. I am going to keep trying again tonight and until I can't take it anymore...which may be soon.