You're being "Mr. Nice Guy." In studying thousands of affairs, I have NEVER, personally, seen that work.
You have no children together, and you've caught your wife with a secret cellphone and she says she's planning on divorcing you. Why on earth haven't you at least TRIED the "go completely DARK" thing yet??
Frankly, I don't trust you to keep your emotions in check around your wife. You need to separate yourself completely from the situation, and at least give her an opportunity to MISS YOU.
