Post any questions you might have to me here....

[flowmom]

Thanks for clarifying what confusion might look like. Now I'm confused about whether H is confused or not .

I guess where I am seeing the confusion is in how H is presenting himself to the world...on his new facebook page there are a lot of pictures of and references to his past accomplishments. He is going back to the past to try to reconstruct his identity I guess.

But there are the red flags too. Before our M he did have a brief affair and that was confronted and patched over. He brought that up right before he left me 2 months ago, saying that I begged him to reconcile and that I would make changes that according to H I didn't stick to. Not at all how I remember what happened! And it's not like I pressured him to marry him 2 years later either -- that was his idea with no pressure on my part. In our M our H has had a huge amount of freedom and virtually no expectation to report his activities to me so he's had ample opportunity.