H phoned me this morning to arrange when to drop off the kids. He said that everything went great last night. I didn't respond (in my mind: "what, do you want a f---- prize???").
Then he said that he was thinking he'd keep the kids' bedding at his place (he borrowed the bedding from our home last night) and they'd stay at his place overnight again tonight so that it would be more convenient for them all to pick BIL up at the airport tomorrow morning.
My first response was "I don't feel comfortable with that". I should have just left it at that but I went on to explain that I didn't think that 2 overnights in a row was best for the children because my 3 yo needs to sleep in her own bed tonight, etc. He insisted that they are fine -- and I said "good, let's not rock the boat by overdoing it". I was annoyed because he had the whole convo in front of the kids and he had obviously made it look like the party was continuing tonight before talking to me about it. And he said "I thought you'd want more time off" -- I said: "I'll decide what's right for me and let you know". I was polite in my words but my voice was stressed. He commented on that and backed down (obviously being careful not to rock the boat with my comfort zone and cooperation).
I'm not happy with how I handled that. I should said: "I don't feel comfortable with that and I'd like to discuss it later when we can talk privately without the kids around". I need to get into the habit of giving myself time to react and not responding on the fly. I haven't had to do that much because we've had very few "loaded" verbal interactions.
He's totally doing the "party dad" thing...eating in restaurants all the time, giving them chips and junk food that they don't normally get, etc.
Last edited by flowmom; 02/27/1006:12 PM.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
