Keep up the notes. Never know when you may have to resort to them. I am glad to hear you are getting a lot of studying in. Good job there. Did baby enjoy her day yesterday at church?
Sorry, I have been off the boards for the past few days.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Thanks KD..I have one whole years worth of notes in a calendar/journal and started another year.
Exh has been really distant. Great for me. Only hear from him once or so a day, and its usually in the late afternoon when he is off work. Very rarely do I get the 'goodnight to baby' texts.
Life is going pretty smoothly. Wish my money tree in the backyard would bear fruit..just enough to be comfortable. Kids are good..so life is just rolling along. Feels so good to break free and have my own life and not all of my emotions tied into one hugely dysfunctional man!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
A gf of mine just called me and told me she had some info about exh to put in my journal! I asked what....
On Monday when he never showed up for a vist with baby....he had a big surprise party/dinner for MGF with her kids and their friends at his house!
Documented!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
So heres a question that is now most likely going to come up with exh...
His daughter is now starting track and some of the meets fall on visit days. Even though a week ago he said he was boycotting her meets I bet he will go. He was bragging all over Fb about her yesterday. Do I allow him to switch days if he wants for this? I would understand normally, but I'm sorta mad that he blows baby off for 'other' reasons so I am inclined to say no.
Selfish?
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Ok, I think I am talking to myself these days! I hope you all are still there! I need you guys for strength and wonderful wisdom.
Not sure what to do...
Remember my friend I talked about a few weeks ago.The one whose son died last summer and we reconnected via FB? We have hung out a few times since then. It really was nice to maybe go a different direction socially and find someone away from exh. She met exh a few times maybe 15 years ago when he was married to exw1 and she was married to her exh. They haven't seen eachother since.
This morning I was checking my FB and notice that exh and my friends are now friends! WTF! So I did peek into exh's email to see who added who...my friend added exh with a little message "Hey stranger! Long time! I met your darling baby. She is a cutie. Let's catch up!"
I am floored! I feel really betrayed. We sat at my table and she heard all of the horrible things exh has done, the person he was and is..how he still tries to lie, cheat, manipulate, etc. How much he has hurt me and the kids.
She sought him out! He didn't add her. I don't even know what to say. I probably won't say a word to her, but I will not be hanging out with her anymore.
I am really bummed.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Wow, I am not sure how I would react. After what she knew she chose to friend him and act like things were normal!?! Part of me would want to confront her, but what purpose would it serve. I would probably do the same thing you will do, not say anything and limit any further contact with her. Did she know X before you two were together? Would she somehow feel more loyally to him? Is she still friends with his 1st X?
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
Wow, I am not sure how I would react. After what she knew she chose to friend him and act like things were normal!?! Part of me would want to confront her, but what purpose would it serve. I would probably do the same thing you will do, not say anything and limit any further contact with her. Did she know X before you two were together? Would she somehow feel more loyally to him? Is she still friends with his 1st X?
She knew exh 15 years ago when he was still married to exw1! She told me she hasn't seen him since then.
I was talking to one of my married gf's this morning about it. She said small town, shes single again, hes not, small dating pool. She may just want to see what he is doing but then why would she send a message like she did? I just wouldn't go there with a friend's ex....especially seeking him out after 15 years!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Good lord, after everything you told her do you think she would "check out" your X?! If tht is the case, you are probably better off without her in your life!
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
Yeah, I don't get it either! Its also not like they have seen eachother around in the last years either. She purposely sought him out.
Funny, she sent a text asking to do lunch today. I am soooooooo busy!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Your exh is in a tough situation with his other daughters events. For me personally, I think the bigger thing to do is try and adjust the schedule for him to see baby but something within reason. I don't think you should punish his other daughter who is innocent in this or baby for that matter.
I know it is not an easy situation. Try and detach emotionally from what you think about him and instead try and think about the kids.
Just my 2 cents.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
