Post any questions you might have to me here....

[cat04]

Hello Mach1,

I see a lot of newer posters that seem to define success at DBing by their left ring finger....

The success of a marriage has NOTHING to do with what's on their left finger; I learned long ago that ring is a "symbol" not a feeling. It doesn't matter if the ring is worn or not;

HB,

While this was a nice answer...

I believe Mach was trying to find out if you define SUCCESS by whether the Marriage is reconciled or not…

Personally, I believe that if you do the work, heal yourself, do your best not to create any more hurt while going through this cycle and GROW as a person, becoming better, truer, more grounded through this process…whether the M is saved or not is irrelevant.

Because you are successful as a person…

Maybe you could take some time to post what your views are about YOU if your marriage would not have been rebuilt.

Would you still have lived, and been a better person regardless ?

I am now a person of a strength, a firm believer in the Lord, who believes that all things happen for a reason.

Yes your M was reconciled and you grew throughout the process….

Would you be this same person now? Would you have taken the opportunity to grow and heal? Or did you do all of that after the reconciliation?

Believe it or not, I have NEVER wondered what it would have been like if I'd taken another path. I have been frustrated and angry, and sometimes had second guessed myself about the decision I made

This sounds like a bit of a contradiction. Which, in reality, it is ok to second guess yourself at times. It is part of the reflection process.

HB,

While I have great respect for your faith, and I too am a person of great Faith and believe I would not be where I am if it were not by the grace of God, not everyone has that same strength, or the “insight” that you speak of having.

Don’t you think all of the time and words put into this would be better spent trying to help people understand that love does not end. It can change it’s appearance but it does not die, just like God’s love for us does not end or die regardless of what we may do?

God helps those who help themselves, and that is where people need to begin. By helping themselves….

If we don’t help ourselves, we too may end up traveling the MLC road that we are now only briefly participating in….