Back here, for the second time... #69

[AliSuddenly]

Hey K, good that you checked his laptop, I would have done too.

They are OLD emails/files though hey, past, history, but still as Kerry says, it must have hurt.

How do you feel now? I mean, seeing as there were no NEW messages between them, do you feel relieved?

I understand its hard to trust him after the way he acted, but whats the purpose of not trusting him at all as your post said? Protection? So you will know, what, straight away if it happens again? To minimise hurt? So you dont feel stupid if he does it again and you dont know/find out??

Would it be any easier to conduct your R without the shadow of mistrust? Because that does sound stressful and like you must be on "high alert" all the time, or a part of your brain is. Can you downgrade it and just go on orange alert?.. may be a potential threat, or yellow even, maybe a threat in the future, or, well whatever it is! Didnt America stay on high alert since 9/11 but it just breeds fear and anxiety and what good does it really do!? Did it stop that guy trying to set light to his underpants on a flight to the US recently?? No!

Anyway, just my thoughts. I understand that to rebuild trust after an A, the WAS has to act in a trustable way, give free access to phones, computers, be open, honest, do MORE than you would in a normal R, go the extra mile to restore trust. I know he isnt doing enough, but he has given you access to these things, now, at least, so maybe take heart from that?

xx