Lost the detailing is keeping me busy,but so has some other stuff.
I did text her too much, i have texted her too much.
no i haven't given her much to miss.
my ? and i just backspaced a crap load to just ask this.
if most of any communication with her is positive/supportive other than minor disagreements with a divorce ok?
we all know including her, that i am ok with everything but that.
but i've also acknowledged that we do need to be apart, that i know that i can't give her the space she needs if we were in the same house, but she is welcome here anytime.
i've let her know before and recently that i do want to know her mind, because i do.
she keeps hitting me with that share topic, meaning i didn't share with her, but guys really i'm an open book.
i know it's her that hasn't shared with me and that's why she's so close to neighbor.
she acknowledged she didn't tell me things, because i would fix things and that would only add to her stress when she did share.
so i've made it pretty clear i don't want to fix, i just want to listen.
ah nevermind i'm asking someone to have a crystal ball.
IS THERE REALLY A LAST DITCH EFFORT?
IF THERE IS, I WANT TO START PRACTICING IT BEFORE THIS THING GETS FINAL, i need to know it cold and i need to deliver it calm,cool and confidently.
If there is I want to do deliver it just before her divorce is final.
i did say this and i don't know if you agree, but it is how i feel.
letting go and love are 2 different things, one is a choice the other isn't it.
i've done an ok job letting go in that i don't know what she's doing or who with and i don't ask.
but the love part, it's odd, but that with all the crap she's pulled has not gone away, if anything it's stronger, i know it's because i know what she's going thru and what I'm becoming.
i also made it clear, really she's divorcing a past that no longer exists and a lifestyle that doesn't either.
i pointed out, big difference seeing her friends and going out of town now, i've been here with kids, yes d pulled some stuff, but hey you went and have been and i haven't asked,cared,worried, or wondered when you'd get home, why?
it was a need of hers that i missed or messed up on, she needed her own personal time or space and i let her know, divorce for sure she's going to get it, but also married she's going to get it now too.
married life, yeah i would have cared especially back then, the hrs i worked i crammed when i was home.
that's the crap thing for her and i really she's missing out on the best, nicest, unstressed, not overworked, over compensating ayk ever.
told her that's a regret of mine, that she didn't see it soon enough, but let her know too at anytime and i would have at anytime if she did not support my career back then i would have done something else, but her notes and support kept me at it.
