W came over early today unannounced. Interaction was fine though I could tell she wasn't as cheerful as prior in the week. Seems the longer we are together, the moodier she gets. We discussed nothing but small talk and her job search, which she admitted kind of stalled as she has not felt motivated.
Dinner was fine, and the event we took the kids to was pleasant. Felt sorry for my son as he kind of whined as I was getting everyone in the car for W to take to her apartment. He said he wished he was staying home, as it was more "comfortable". "I hate the weekend" was another quote. W wasn't around to hear it.
Hopefully W sees some of this when she has the kids, which will help dispel the myth that "they will be fine". Maybe they will, but not as fine as they would be if she snapped out of it.
I keep trying to prevent myself from having any expectation of progress toward reconciliation. She's definitely not "well". She admitted she had feelings this week of being a "loser" and failing in everything from her marriage to getting a job.
Nothing I can do but validate. She's got to hit bottom on her own. She's becoming very active in her church, which is great, but may be a means to compensate for the ways in which she feels she is turning against God.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
