I'm not sure what your boundaries are, but things like dishes and letting her have things in the house that are easily replaced should not be an issue. I do not see that crossing a boundary. The house & car are bigger things to consider, of course. To me, a boundary would be something that you draw the line and say, "I cannot live with that behavior in my life". It is something she does that disrespects you in some way and you say, "that's crossing the line".
Not giving her information....like where you live, if that is to protect yourself...then I guess that's your business, but if it is to be mean spirited, then it's wrong and will not help the R.
She has huge trust issues with you. You are the only one who really knows what those issues are. I don't necessarily think giving her the care (for example) is showing her she can trust you. But, I don't understand what she is refering to.
Just do what you know is the right thing. Be fair about everything.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
