My H has always said the "kids" need closure...he has always tried to get me to do it his way...I haven't budged, & I won't..he's nuts...he wants me to sit down at our dining room table and work it out between us because "we are not movie stars who have alot of money to throw away on divorce"... A while ago I told him I never had a choice in any of this..that he packed up and drove away and never looked back. He chose to be with OW over being with the wife he had for 30 years and our 3 kids... I do believe he is carrying alot of guilt over his "love child"..my daughter even told him he never tried with me and he told her..."he told her you try every day"....well yeah...but he ran...
Since he's left it has been all about him...he just wants to be with the kids if its fun and if he doesn't have to keep them overnight...seriously....and my son doesnt know what's really going on so he goes and dad takes him to movies, to eat, and then back home...my son is on cloud 9...but he never sits down with him to just talk to him...he's only seen my D23 a couple of time over the last year....sad....
I told H I needed money and he pretty much said he can't get any....I never responded to him....I was so mad....he has no worries, no responsibilities, NOTHING!! Just having fun with OW...
He says he needs to start spending time with his other son also...sure...all of a sudden after 10 years he wants to be involved...I think he is avoiding us and not spending time with our kids because he went 10 years without spending time with his other son...it's almost like he's punishing us for that..does that sound weird?
He does appear to be in love w OW....she is a friend from wayy back...but one thing...she dated all his friends...I guess it's his turn...YUK! Maybe they will end up together, who knows but the sad thing is my kids will never accept the OW.She walked into our home and took their dad...even though he told them it has nothing to do with her...that she's a good person....BLAH! What am I? Huhhhh....I know.....to him I'm the cause of his unhappiness for the past 10, 12, 15 years..it changes....
To everyone he appears calm,,loving, and just needing to move on and not be married anymore...but if that's what he wants why did he go right to OW....I don't get it...I'm the one alone now..it doesnt bother me as much anymore..I kind of enjoy the bed all to myself but it does get lonely every now and again..I miss him reaching over and touching me when he came to bed...it's the little things...the things that will never be again..
Right now I'm concentrating on my D23's wedding...she has asked the neither her father or I bring anyone to her wedding..I respect her decision and I will not....I hope her father does the same...or I will remove the girl myself...it's about my daughter not us...
Thank you so much for all your wisdom...you really are helping....being able to vent and have people understand makes a world of difference...
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
