Pretend he was one of your two best friends. Would you not see one of the two if the other invited you first? If either event isn't 'cancellable' (like a Fri night only thing), that might be another thing to look at.

When you go out with him, is it something you get? Does his company make you happy, or is it just listeing cause you feel obliged? If you enjoy spending time with him, is that what a R gives someone?

I keep asking my W to be patient with me. Your H did just start counselling, so he needs that time as well (I think). Every time I meet my IC, I take a step, although they aren't all in the same direction. If he is like me, he needs some time to make long term committments.

I'm guessing you've already begun worrying that you are putting in time and effort, so what if he comes out saying he met someone else, or that he decided he can't commit? That is the hardest decision you (and my W) have to make - is he worth the wait?

I know asking my W to pitch a tent is hard, and that our interactions aren't like they'd be had I been 100% there. But what else can I (or he) do if we aren't sure?

Remember, you and he have only been actively doing "180" type stuff (him with IC and taking things slow but deep, you with so many things). Will you give it 6 months? 9 months? What is your limit.

I don't know if any of this helps...but it's some thoughts...


Last edited by Onthemountaintop; 02/26/10 06:39 PM.