What would you say if you were to talk to him about the D? That its wrong? That you don't want it? He already knows. You will only frustrate yourself. Believe me I've been down that road.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
I've been down that road more than once...I know this one wouldn't be any different. I just want to know why he only sees this as the answer----and I KNOW, he either doesn't know himself or I wouldn't like his answer. My first L appt. is Tuesday, and for some reason I'm dwelling today......I've known and loved my H for 30 years, and none of this makes sense. His birthday is the 7th---wondering if his most recent extra hard push has something to do with that.
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
I was reading and trying to catch up...I'm afraid I will be in your shoes soon...He wants our "kids" to have closure and for me to move on...
I thought I'd respond really quit but you know I was with H 31 years...and I read that your H's birthday is on the 7th....My H's birthday is the 7th also but in August...he will be 50...when I read that I thought wow....our sitches are closer than I thought....
Treese
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
I didn't reply to the e-mail H sent about his W-2. I decided that there really wasn't anything to reply to----he said he would get it to me (although he still has not).
My first appt. with L is tomorrow. I will need to leave work early to go. The kids usually walk to me after school and D16 comes to get them. They eventually go to H's for the night. He has been wanting to pick D13 up after school on Tuesdays to pitch, but she has been reluctant to do this----likes to wind down after school. Last week he said he didn't want to give her that choice anymore. Anyway, trying to decide whether to tell H that I have appt. with L and make arrangements for him to pick up kids.......or just tell him he needs to pick them up.......
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
Intersting, the kids told me yesterday that they mentioned something about his birthday next Sunday. He said---Oh is it next week already? I knew it was coming up, but didn't know it was that close...............still wondering if he's hitting bottom.
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
He told me to get a L to handle "our" D in the e-mail he sent in January. He checked in 3 weeks later and said since you aren't getting one, I will.....I told him I had made contact with one, but that the L would be for me and my interests (not for "our" D) and that his L could contact mine. He sent e-mail last week telling me he would be sending me a property statement for my L---that he once again has decided to "do this" on his own---without a L. I truly believe that he thinks if I've hired a L he can have her do all of the work for him----and that will not be the case.
I actually questioned whether I should tell him because it is what I think he wants to hear, and to let him know why I was leaving work early. There is no "tricking" here. I have no dreams of "waking" him up. I've been there, done that. Really. I'm seeing the L because I know it is what I have to do. I am seeing the L because he told me to, not because I want to----and not because I want to dangle a threat in front of him. You're right, he doesn't need to know.
I don't dwell on whether he's hitting bottom----I do understand that he either is or isn't----no matter what I do. I do know that I hit bottom and am slowly on my way out.
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
