shiny, side point after i read earlier that cj has not been working for a long while
do you think that this fact has anything to do with his mood as of late? no matter what, in this world we live in the MAN is supposed to be the breadwinner - and men who are living on the support of their wife, well sometimes, it can make them feel very inadequate. and plus you have admitted that cj had a problem with you being controlling
just asking a question shiny, just to shoot something out there. you well know what feeling inferior can do to a persons self esteem and then eventually their everyday life. maybe he is "escaping" by being on the computer so much
I am TOTALLY on board with CJ and his birthday wishes. It was a friend (who's b-day is the next day) who asked us if we were having a party (which would mean tagging hers along).
When CJ said he didn't feel like doing the whole party thing here this year I was RELIEVED (although our parties ARE fun!)...and told him I backed him completely!
Our reasons for NOT wanting to go that route this year mesh COMPLETELY! Neither of us wants to do all the work, the prep, the clean up, kicking out our pals at 7 a.m. ...I think his "argument" statement was just one of those Freudian Slips...prepping for a party CAN be stressful and certainly WAS so pre-bomb.
We ARE going out to karaoke...something HE loves and I'm taking him to a comedy show tomorrow night (which he loves) and making him his favourite dinner on Friday! (which is his actual b-day)
I had NO idea how MUCH CJ hated his top level job of 17 years. Sure he groused now and then and the hours were atrocious, but it wasn't until after the bomb that I came to see that keeping that job was KILLING him.
So it was a HUGE relief to let that go. I'm not exactly "supporting" us...don't make enough to do that...CJ got a sizeable settlement when he was "restructured out" and that's our security...we could last two more years on that and my income.
CJ is TOTALLY into this course he's taking...sees it AS his job right now. And a job, for the most part, that he LOVES. It also has great potential for future employment.
As for control...we've always seen eye to eye on finances (How many couples can say that!!!). About the ONLY arguments we have about money involve that blasted ten grand the government owes us in overpaid taxes!!!
So I don't THINK the control was an issue in that particular arena.
Thanks though, for your thoughts and I WILL be more sensitive to the possibility of that dynamic as time goes on.
((shiny)) I guess I get a whack now. Ouch! It hurts much more when you have to hit yourself...LOL. It just seemed to me like you were wanting a party for him...and he didn't want one. No matter. I misread, I guess. Your plans sound excellent! Now, I'm going to ice this big lump on my head....LOL
Shiny...glad to hear all's well with the b-day thing....we sometimes get carried away with responses.
I know what you mean about your h job..my h up and left his job of 20 years..we lived on the retirement and he found another in 6 months..but loves it and the people..of course it is also when things started going downhill for our m, but for other reasons..not the actual job change itself. So hang in there..better to be happy then in a job you hate..
...I think his "argument" statement was just one of those Freudian Slips...prepping for a party CAN be stressful and certainly WAS so pre-bomb.
