For Sandi2

[elscotto]

That's funny because the EX was bemoaning that the OM's Ex "was going all over town and calling me a whore and a slut." I told my Ex--ummm maybe that's because you slept with her husband. I'd be mad too--in fact I am mad about that aspect of your betrayal toward me. Her response was "well they were going to get a divorce anyway."

This crap is all like a script--which is oddly comforting. It makes me feel sane to read about stuff that I could have written or my Ex said to me verbatim.

You are right in that she lies so much these days that I think she has no idea how much she lies and was lying. She couldn't keep this straight.

Can you elaborate more on the pro-exposure comments and how would you propose I handle this at this point.

In the interest of full disclosure I did tell my 13 and 15 year olds a couple of months ago before they knew anything was happening between their mother and this guy this:

"So you know (insert boy name here) that Mr XXX is divorced" to which they said yeah they know and had heard. I then said "well the reason he is divorced is that he was unfaithful to his wife and I knew how much pain divorce had caused them in their lives and I in no way approve of people being unfaithful to their spouses because it is now how we conduct ourselves when we make a promise of that magnitude." "Therefore, even though he is a friend of you mother's and even though he has been in our home (I kept the house that they have always lived ina nd were born in and grew up in) and at the time he was in our home he was a friend--he was now no longer welcome in our home" I then said "so your mother is living a separate life and she has the right to make her own decisions on who she chooses as friends but my prncipled position is that his behavior was not acceptable to me"

They both said okay they understood.

Thoughts on what I did wrong and or right and how to manage things. You all are a fountain of wisdom.

Thanks
Scott