I'm a former poster but haven't been on the boards for awhile. I just wanted to make a comment from my experience on the "closure" (i.e., divorce) question that was posted here.
My H began his MLC in about 2003. Replay (very young OW) started in 2004 -- I found out about her in 2005 and began posting here under another name.
After many failed reconciliations, my H unexpectedly filed for D in 2006. When I confronted him about it, he immediately backed down and cancelled the D.
My take on it is this -- many MLCers are emotionally weak and easily led. My XH's young OW was the driving force behind his filing for D. I don't think H wanted the D at all but he caved to OW's demands. On the flip side, when I confronted him, he also caved in to me and dropped the D.
I eventually filed for D because I couldn't handle the wishy washy indecivisness of H. He was flip-flopping all over the place and never making a stand either way. Had I not filed, I'm sure we would still be doing this square dance. (Even after the D, my XH tried for 2 years to keep the dance going).
My XH is one of those who got "stuck" in the process. I doubt he will ever find his way out because he doesn't have the strength or manpower to do it.
It's a long, tough road no matter what the outcome. The LBS must build herself the best life she can while she's waiting .. I wish I had done this sooner instead of waiting on H to "wake up".
