For Sandi2

[elscotto]

Wow. All good feedback Sandi thank you SO MUCH. We had a "family" dinner for one of my boy's birthday last night as well as last Sat night for another one of the boys. (They were all born within 30 days of each other) and the one thing I took away from both meetings is that she does not appear happy right now. I'm not naive enough to think that has to do with me or any awakening to the loss of her marriage. It might be that--or could be a tax bill ahead that she has now that she will be filing a single return. In the past my paycheck magically made that go away but those days are over. But bottom line is that woman is not happy right now. Her skin tone looks bad, she looks drawn and a little haggard with circles under her eyes, and she has continued to lose weight.

Idk--I can't imagine moving from a semi happy secure marriage to a full blown affair and then to a divorce within 20 days of the affair being discovered. Those are some serious life changing events in a hurry and I have to think the realization of the marriage being gone might not truly have hit her or the OM. After all, they have been pleasantly distracted with their affair and the feelings of being in love and of having found their soul mate. The OM is a piece of work too--his ex told me he is already behind on his child support, has bounced a series of checks 3 times in the 3 months since they divorced, and is living in a craphole apartment. Good stuff I tell you.

The other thing I guess thats moot is why in the hell she doesn't just admit it was an affair and why she doesn't realize how rediculous it sounds to continually refer to it as a "relationship" and to deny that she had an affair? Any women have some insight for me on this.

I was mad at her one day about a month ago because the OM told his 9 year old son that he was going to date Mrs.XXX and of course his 9 year old son texted at least one of my son's and told them. So, now 2 of my son's know their mother is dating Mr XXX but neither my ex or the OM know they know--they do suspect it however. So at the time my ex and I had been divorced 4 mos and the OM had been divorced 2 mos when this got to the kids. I was sooooo mad at my ex and told her in a fit of rage that I would not allow that crapbag to occupy a position of respect, friendship, or authority within my boy's lives when he had such an instrumental role in breaking up their home and security. She said you can't do anything about it and that's crazy because I would never do that to you if you were to intro a woman to them. I said there is a difference in that there is no woman I could date who would have had the same negative impact on those boys and their home and security. Then I screamed at her that she had the affair--not me. She screamed back I didn't have an affair and I said "you need to understand something--an affair is a lot more than someone sticking their crank in you" and she got quiet for a sec.

That was a month ago and we haven't had anoy more seriously nasty realtime conversations since then. I am good and composed 98% of the time but need to further distance. I find that interaction with her puts me in a bad mood and whenever she sends me anything its rarely anything positive.

Sighhhhhhhhhh when does this carnival ride end?

Thanks all
scott