Well, your wife isnt' HIDING her affair.. she's made it public... So you have proof in court to argue a case for that extra $$ in my opinion.
It all depends on the law in your area and I am NOT a lawyer by any stretch... I was suggesting that on priniple, not as a legal entitlement...
if YOU pay for the WHOLE wedding and SHE cheats and ENDS the marriage... I would definitely be asking for a REFUND on that wedding ... WITH INTEREST...
Make SURE you collect some HARD PROOF of her affair before you get into legal stuff with her.. she WILL DENY it if she finds it to be legal achilles heel...
Your wife doens't hate you... she's messed up in the head and hates herself... she projects that onto you, but its her trust me...
Don't take ANYTHING she says or does as an ATTACK right now, she's ADDICTED... you CANNOT get PERSONAL with an addict... if you DO you get sucked into their addiction and you are BOTH addicted..
step OUT of that and find peace in your indifference.
As for being committed to the END, being committed means warning her she's making a bad choice, and leaving her to act as she chooses... she WILL crash and burn and THAT is when you will be vindicated...
She will be miserable, doubly so becuase her x-husband TOLD her it would fail and she laughed at him...
It WILL fail, all you can do is warn her, and then walk away. Not callously, just warn her and then get OUT.. she's addicted, so don't get into a conversation with her.. its a WASTE of your energy.
