Positive Moments In Time

[The Wifey]

The perspective above, and your Counselor, are in my view COMPLETELY opposed to the DBing, solution-based perspective and everything MWD teaches.

I never hear MWD worry about "cake-eating". I hear her say to be a friend no matter what.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/a_while_spouse_decides.htm

Being a friend does NOT mean allowing cake-eating. Cake eating is when they can do anything they want without consequences and we kow-tow to every demand in hopes they will change.

You CAN be a friend without allowing cake eating. Nice, polite, non-accusatory behavior does not mean you lay down and take everything they dish out.

I never hear her say "give them some consequences". I hear her say to work and focus on ourselves, and give them something great to come back to.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/a_why_change.htm

If you rescue them from every consequence then what do they have to reconsider? You aren't giving them the consquences. They make a choice and the consequences result.

Eg, if the WA moves out and all of a sudden finds out they don't have enough money to live the lifestyle they are used to then you are really sorry to hear that. It DOES NOT mean you fork over more of your income to make that comfy lifestyle happen.

Our wives have become Aliens. Whether through health, family and addiction problems like mine, or different issues like Kev's, they are not themselves right now. It took a very long time for things to get this bad, and it'll take a long time to recover.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/a_walkaway_wife.htm

Yes, it is a marathon. But you have not yet understood all of the implications of DR.

Finally, where do you get this idea that having good family time actually hurts the kids? What? I've heard CG say it also. I'm sorry, that's the kind of divorce counseling, "they'll be fine" B.S. that makes MWD so effective as an alternative. Just my .02

Kids have a very good sense of what is fair. If Mom treats Dad like crap and Dad then fawns all over Mom regardless of the treatment, bends at every turn, etc, they know BS when they see it.

Just being in the company of each other does not necessarily constitute "Family time."

I would suggest you do some more reading. Every time you read DR you will learn something new.