Well I think I got the text message situatoin taken care of, though not as I would have liked. I had to manually transcribe them. My L said I could do that for evidence gathering purposes and then the phones themselves could be entered into evidence at trial.
Not only was the process painful physically (I typed for about 4 hours straight), but emotionally as well given that I had to read each one again and type them in word for word.
Anger that I hadnt felt in a few days resurfaced a bit. Like in December when my ex wanted me to come pick D3 up from her because she was running late for work from having been at OMs house (who I didnt know about at the time). Or when D3 mentioned OMs name but she told me D3 was talking about someone else with the same name (again before I knew about OM).
It just made me feel foolish...her lying and such.
Plus then there were all the threatening messages from my ex which brought back all the mmories of the stress I went through every time she threatened to leave and take D3 away because I wouldnt obey.
And I'm sure this isnt the last time I'll see/hear them. They will come up again when the trial comes.
Like I said...things will be said by each of us that cant be taken back...and that may be the point of no return.
I'd like you guys opinion on whether I was a "douschebag" as my ex put it yesterday or if I was being a responsible parent (and feel free to say if I was).
I took D3 to preschool yesterday morning. Class starts at 8:30 and when we got there it was 8:20. My ex wasnt there, and the sarcastic was she was talking about her taking D3 to school and whatnot the day before, I wasnt sure if she was going to come.
It takes 5 minutes to get to and into the building due to its distance from the parking lot and the security measures to prevent unauthorized access to the building. So I went on and took D3 in so she wouldnt be late. About 8:28 my ex calls in tears and asks if I had already taken D3 in. I said yes because I didnt want her to be late and I didnt knowif she was coming and she called me a f*ckin a$$hole along with a few other things and hung up. I said bye to D3 and went out to my car, only to see my ex driving off (it was about 8:35 by then).
I texted her and told her she could have come in (as it WAS before 8:30) and seen D3 and she said she wasnt gonna pull her out of the classroom. I tried calling my ex because when she cries I feel bad even when I think I'm doing the right thing but she didnt answer.
So i went on to breakfast and she ended up calling me back. She said more angry/hurtful words, and even gave me crap about her mother watching D3 while I went to my job interview. something to the effect of "you finally decide to get off your f*ckin a$$ and get a job and you ask my c*nt of a mother to watch her?"
I told her I only did that because she had to work. She said she would have taken off of work (which may or may not be true given its her tax free job) and would have liked to spend more time with D3. It never occurred to me to ask her to watch D3...and I would bet money if I did, I'd be getting accusations in court that she "had to" watch D3 on my time.
At any rate, she told me she wanted to be there when D3 got out of preschool and I told her that was fine. As we were walking out with D3, D3 said "mommy can you come home?" and she said not that she had to go to work. then D3 asked again, and again...and we both realized she wasnt asking about a visit...she was asking my ex to move back home. I was beside myself as to what to say...as my ex didnt believe D3 says such things.
We told her that mommy had to go to work and that she'd see her tomorrow. I ended up calling my ex out on D3 saying those things even though she didnt believe me. I told my ex that because of how all this is affecting her, if things arent gonna change, of if everythings gonna change, we needed to get a counselor for her.
She didnt really respond to that...but instead accused me of telling D3 to say all these things...which I denied and told her that D3 was an intelligent little girl who was expressing her feelings using the words she knows.
My ex said soemthing like "and you expect me to believe you? and you expected me to stay and be miserable?" and I said that no I didnt expect her to believe me given that all her negative feelings towards me were being reenforced. And no I didnt expect her to stay and be miserable...I wanted her to stay and see that we could be happy and together...that even though I couldnt see what I was doing that made her unhappy it didnt mean I wouldnt and wouldnt do anything about it. Then i ended up telling her that if someday she realized what really happened and decided she had regrets, and she was willing to make amends, she could tome toalk to me and we might be able to work things out. I said that I couldnt make any promises though because by then too many hurtful things might have been said and done to me for me to be able to forgive and forget.
The last part was unnecessary...and she didnt respond after that. But I figured I said my peace in a non ejmotional and confrontational way...again, placing the ball in her court.
At any rate...was I a dbag for taking D3 in before my ex got there or was I being responsible in making sure she wasnt late?
