H in MLC help!!

[kjensen]

I also thought i could never forgive my husband/remain married to him if he had an affair. My husband told me that years prior I used to tell him that an affair was a 'deal-breaker'-this I don't recall...but its possible.

But..when I found out about the EA and then later the PA..I was able to forgive and move past. It does take concerted effort and time.

But, just forgiving a spouse an affair doesn't save a marriage, necessarily. Especially when MLC is involved-its another beast and the affairs are just a small part of what we, LBS, learn to forgive and get over.

Understanding what MLC is about helps put your spouse's actions and inconsistencies into perspective..but people around you who don't know what MLC can be like will not "get it" and wonder why the heck you're still trying to save the marriage.

It may be easier if you H moves out and you live separately while remaining married and hope that he comes through this and back to you.

My H didn't start the PA(that I know of) until after he moved out. He thought of separation as the end of the marraige and that justified, in his mind, the relationship with the other OW.
He came back when OW dumped him..but he wasn't nearly through with his MLC and moved out again in December.

Everyone has their own journey. You need to figure out YOUR journey and take care of yourself. You have no control over your H's thoughts/actions-and that can be scary right now.
Hang in there.