Thanks GB. Well at this point I feel more and more like I'm just done. I don't like the person he has become. I don't think there was anything wrong I did either. He texts me back last night to say "sorry - you just caught me off guard..let's discuss over weekend". Maybe when he calms down he'll realize I was just asking the ? he wanted answered, and that it was a reasonable request to agree on timing/amounts of payment so we're on the same page. It's not my fault that he blew through thousands of dollars on boondogle trips he took with his b-school budies (meanwhile I was still paying all the rent/bills). I think what I did was perfectly justified, but perhaps it was a nice side/180 - me being a bit more businesslike and assertive lately - and he didn't know how to respond. He kept saying to me: 'I don't need to talk to him like he's one of my clients'. BS. This is EXACTLY what I sent him:
"I hope Florida is fun and that training is not too intense. You sure picked a good week to be away - it has been raining nonstop here!
Quick question as I'm getting ready for the move. Are you planning to come by next weekend to get whatever remaining things you want at the apt? What do you want to do with your dresser and closet of stuff?
Also, I wanted to let you know that I did speak with the lawyer about the question you had and he said we would both need to fill out the financial long forms. Also he said it would be a good idea to agree on the timing of tuition payment – ideally in writing – so we’re both on the same page. The total amount was $XX. Would you prefer to break that up ˝ this year and ˝ next, or Xk this year, Xk next? Would June of each year be reasonable for you?
Hope work and everything else is going well. Kindly, Hil ---------------------
And he said my tone was unreasonable and harsh! Unless I'm crazy I don't think this was harsh or nasty at all.
At this point I just want out. I want to be done. I don't like the person he is or who he has become. I am fine with giving him another yr of flexibility (even though i think it's silly, he makes now 6 figures). I'm almost tempted just to end the debate and say back, ok over 3 yrs is fine and Dec of each yr (which he had asked). But I think the best thing to do might be just NC/Not respond further...he is going to call me Sunday when he gets back and discuss live. I just don't want him to make this horrible for both of us. He's bound to be a tad difficult w our tax appt next week. At this point I just want to take what's mine and get out of here, I really think I am done. So in some ways, it's good that I crossed that bridge, I guess.
I am tired of his emotional attacks and funny how he did this same 'game' a few times last yr. He'd lash out about $ (once throwing $20 in my face b/c I gave him leftover meal I had at home), and when I don't react or he knows he's hurt me, then he feels remorse and apologizes later.
I kind of want to end this debate and meet him halfway w terms (over 3 yrs, not 2 but NOT 10), but feel like it might be best to just lay low and not respond further until he's back. Perhaps then that'll give him some time to cool down. It's hard to not do anything further when I'm angry and want to vent and have it out with him (I could care less at this point if anything I do pushes him further away)...but maybe I just spend that energy elsewhere..stop by church today/meditate/keep busy w work.
This is NOT the kind of person I want to be with anymore.
