I cannot sleep. My thought are on my M. Why? I am sure he is sleeping with little or no thought regarding our situation.
Destiny,
These are the monsters in your head.
You don't know that your H is sleeping. You really don't.
I still live in the same house,separate rooms, with my H. Sleep, still, is somthing that is difficult for him. It has been three years since the first bomb. Two since the second and he moved into a separate room. All things that were supposed to make him happy. Unless I have no clue what happy looks like, this man is not happy. He SEEMS happy sometimes, but most of the time no.
They talk a wonderful game. They really do. All of the things they want to do, they can do now that they are without you, but are they doing them? Those of us with live-ins, who get to see the crap daily, can tell you that they are not really doing most of the stuff that they say they want to. And the things that they do do, don't last very long.
It is time for you to start learning how to live around the memories in your home and the thoughts in your head.
Start a routine.
Take a bubble bath every night, read a book, start cleaning out the closets one room at a time. Find your spiritual side. Learn to crochet. Anything that will shift your focus onto you....
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
