I think you will understand why i picked what I picked.
She chose the mountain while I took to the sea Kissing away to our graves below the cold waves. She chose the mountain while I took to the sea A fleeting glimpse of what was and what is to be. She chose the mountain while I took to the sea Shimmering hopes bashed apart left in the dark. She chose the mountain while I took to the sea Cast adrift floating away currents embrace She chose the mountain while I took to the sea Spiralling down I stand upon the land. She chose the mountain while I took to the sea I walk away
Cutter, I actually really like that. I read it on a lot of levels - the mountains never change, stay still, safe, always there. The sea, moving, changing, dangerous, learning. The journey or adventure on the sea where you get to the 'other side' (or land as it is in the poem). I actually really like it.
I would leave it as is but just finish it with another 'She chose the mountain while I took to the sea' or maybe even 'She chose the mountain while I found land'.
Really chuffed about you writing that for me!
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
