Phew,CW, I'm glad that my suggestion wasn't ridiculous--so will you be over at your DIL's with H and the kids?
Okay we need to help you brainstorm ways that H could feel needed...it's not just fixing stuff,right?
Actually what is funny is that tonight my WH just tried to help me with 3 different things-I did not set any of these up on purpose. They were: suggestions for TV shows I should watch, I told him that I needed to find a good medicine for my cold and he gave me medicine (but would have just told me if he didn't have any oh him), and set up lights in the kitchen. Oh yeah and I asked his opinion on something S needed.
By the way, CW, you really seem optimistic and positive! I try to be as well...it makes life easier to tackle!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
FM-thankyou so much! I needed to read this this morning! Crazy dreams last night. They were actually good dreams but not reality so I woke up sad! Thankyou, thankyou! You hang in there too!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Hi NM-not so optimistic today...funny how they talk about this roller coaster...it is so true!
I see only good things for you and your H with your PMA! He seems to be coming around!
Dil did not ask me to come over too...suppose she figured it would be awkward and I think that my SS28 is finally ready to talk to H so better if I am not there! Hope H will go.
Thought H would call this morning about taking the kids tonight and he hasn't so I left a message on his phone to let me know what the plan was.
It was nice talking to my Aunt last night, she listened and validated my decision to keep on trying and didn't say anything negative about H...I should learn from her!!!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
CW, I do this stuff to myself also where I have this elaborate plan to show off my changes or do something for my W and something else messes it up. I then get down, upset or mad or at least I used to. Do not ponder why your DIL did not ask you to come over, if you are going to be free during this time, do something for you GAL, and you do not have to neccessarily tell anyone what you are doing, be little mysterious.
This is a hard one for me and I blew it last night by telling my W exactly what I was going to be doing on Saturday night and who I would be doing it with, I am sure she feels great that I will be doing something "safe" with my best friend.
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
I think the dream messed with me so woke up sad and then didn't help when H didn't call.
I just got a call from him and he has to work tonight so plans to pick up kids tomorrow which is good cause I am working in the a.m. and yes, I think I will make some plans for myself Sat night!
Gotta love this place and all the words of encouragement! Hope all is well with you!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
CW, I agree with missherlove--we just can't place too much "weight" on one single act...think BIG PICTURE. Chipping away at a mountain.
Well if your SS will talk to H, that is terrific! And yes, you could use this time to have a break and think of some kind of family plan for you H next week. Post it here and we can give feedback!
Last edited by newmama; 02/26/1004:58 PM.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Hardest thing to get your head round is this takes time.. If you had told me it would take me six months to have H back sitting on my couch with me I probably would have caved in and admitted defeat but as you know Im glad I didnt..
Good babysteps he is hopefully going to DIL, probably best youre not there it will stink of a setup and it will give SS time to chat with him man to man!
Even better his own stupidty let the cat outta the bag about the D so he cant blame you for it getting out.
Step back accept tomorrow night as a great CW gift night and go out and enjoy yourself. Bet you thought at the beginning he'd never find out about your GAL etc but it does.. My H got reminded of one of mine when he told S he had got some thing out of the loft on his own, S commented what on your own and mum didnt lose the plot about you doing it, No says H mum said if you want to get on with it! Oppps penny dropped on Mr Rabbit lol!
Anyway have fun tomorrow night I want a full report!
Rabbit x
____________________________
W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Well, guys, I think that I plan to go to the "big city" tomorrow and look for new bedding after work...may meet up with my brother if he can get away for dinner or a drink. I have a Victoria's Secret and a Borders GC that I need to use and will be nice to shop at those places without the kiddoes!
Talked with a former co-worker today who is on her 3rd marraige. The first one told her after 12yrs and 3 kids that he never loved her and the second one was abusive and the 3rd one is, 4yrs later, the best thing and they are very happy! She was on her own for a couple of years and was able to gain self-confidence but never really faced the abuse demons and is working on that now as she does not want that to interfere with her marraige now! Was good to talk to her!!!
I have made out a calendar of the "going's on's" for H for the month of March telling when PT conferences, S's next Dr appt and time, etc. and will give it to him when he brings the kids home. Am keeping my fingers crossed that he does stop by SS's tomorrow to visit!!!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Just had to share this before I go on CW's fun shopping day!
I have not talked with any of my clients except a 95yr old lady that is so much fun about my sitch but today, I was working alone and my client came in and is younger and just had a baby in Sept. and we were chatting and I just felt like sharing and knew that I could with her as she knows no one in our area. AFter I told her almost everything, she shared with me that her H confessed to her about something, not admitting anything happened etc but wanted her to hear it from him and not her. Anyway there is more to her story and I told her about this place, boks so she may be on here one of these days sharing her own story. What I wanted to really say about all of this is the coincidence that I was the only one working so could talk privately, that I chose her to share my story with and that she turned around and totally shocked me with her story! If you don't believe that God isn't there for us...this might help!
So, getting ready to leave for a fun day of shopping and hope I find some good sales!!!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
God might have "sent" her to get help from you..is that how you are seeing it?
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
