Being that you know your "ideal woman" is NOT your WIFE, I am ever-confused about why you are still married.
Well, it's like some of the women I've seen on dating/advice/talk shows recently. Their "ideal" man is describe by a requirements list 100 items long, and they refuse to "settle" for a "compromise". Which explains why they're still single at 40, etc. As Oprah told one such woman on the show, the only person who meets also the requirements on her list is Jesus Christ.
My wife is quite extraordinary in many ways which I deeply appreciate. Which is why I'm still with her. Meeting all my role-playing sexual fantasies with equal enthusiasm and breadth as me was NOT a showstopper requirement when we got married. Also, as with many decades-long marriages, one's ideal often changes, at least a little. My range of sexual interests is greater now than it was when I was 25. The question is really about growing together, not just being a match at the start. Staying married for a long time can be a totally separate challenge from finding someone who's a good match at the time you marry them.
