I find most of what ssmguy has to say about women to be misogynistic, misguided (who takes Jay Leno's jokes as "evidence?"), embarrassingly juvenile, or based on self-servingly skewed perceptions.
I don't mind that you think that about me, because it's honest and I can see how you'd think that based on what I've written.
But in a kind of funny way, it also gets to a point men worry about when it comes to being an "alpha male". At this point, I feel embarrassed about some of the personal feelings I posted on this board. But a lot of men would NEVER admit to having these feelings, and feel that it is UNMANLY to admit to any feelings of insecurity. Or they would admit to only those insecurities they feel would make them look attractively "vulnerable" to women. Many men feel (and correctly so in many cases, unfortunately) that if they are too open about their inner feelings with women, they will be thought of as unmanly and sexually unattractive. Men know instinctively that the "alpha male" thing that attracts women requires some restraint and "manning up" about inner insecurities. You share some, but not everything. There's a bit of show involved, like the peacock's display of feathers.
But remember also that one's personal feelings are different from knowing what one SHOULD do with the external world and the people in it, and how what you do affects other people and their feelings. I pretty much have talked only about my feelings so far on this board.
But enough about me.
Quote:
I find there's nothing like a sensitive guy asking, "What would you like me to do...?" to kill my desire for sex in one second flat.... The alpha male, on, the other hand, is HOT.
I can answer for a lot of men by responding to that by saying, yeah, he's HOT as long as he guesses correctly what you want. I've heard many stories about women rejecting a guy just because he kissed wrong, without her giving him a chance to get it right. Yup, you can tell by just the first kiss, etc. Which results in the guy kissing new girls until he finds the one who likes his way of kissing, and SHE says he's hot because he just "knew" what she wanted. Or he tries a different way of kissing with the next girl, and SHE says he's hot because he "knew" what she wanted.
And no, I'm not being misogynistic here. Just kind of speaking for what I've heard a lot of guys say. Personally, I got praise in the kissing department, but maybe I just picked the right women.
Marriage experts frequently seem to be dispensing the advice to women that you have to speak up for what you want in bed -- men are not mind readers. I have heard of women who went through a lot of boyfriends until they found one who "knew" what they wanted. I would say to those few women, men aren't THAT rigid. Some -- believe it or not -- are open to suggestion!
