Okay, that is funny! I am sorry it is happening to you, but from this perspective it's crazy and a little amusing.
At my "settlement conference" my X's attorney said to my attorney "why do you get all the reasonable clients." His own attorney thought he was nuts!!! Of course he didn't say it in front of X, he wanted to get paid!
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn