HI All

I posted the fun details of the party (or some of them!) on the party thread.

Hoping, sorry, but dreams DO have meaning...it's a hobby of ours. I know you probably meant it's no prediction and that's quiet true. But as Tal said it was spurred by the undercurrents and triggers of the night before.

Here is some journalling about further undercurrents from yesterday:

Had some fun moments getting ready for the party …

So why then when I was all done up and CJ was looking me over, did I feel NOT like a sexy kitti kat, but like I was under inspection and that he felt some aspects of the costume were too sexy and did NOT approve. (There was a whole time period when his jealousy was a HUGE issue)

I wore kitti ears, a bow tie, a black tank top, the opera length fingerless gloves from my 11th grade theatre arts class… my black dress pants, black jacket (basically an outfit I teach in). Stapled the tail to the tags in my pants.

It was weird, awkward…he looked me over…said I’d done a good job with the makeup, he might have said "looks great". People, am I just crazy to expect a little “va va voom, kittie, you’re hot!!!”

I mean I DID get some of that from my pals at the party, but not from CJ. Then at the party I followed him into the bathroom (which is just curtained off from the main room, interesting house) and tried to sneak in a few kisses… .How can I explain this? You know how it is when you want a KISS and your partner purses their lips and gives you a buss, not once, but twice??? Him physically pushing me away could not have sent a clearer message.

Then much later in the evening I’d been chatting with the group in the kitchen, CJ was picking out tunes in the living room, I wandered back in and he said “I thought you were looking for me” . Apparently, some time earlier I’d wandered in saying I was looking for him, and then wandered out again?

Very possible, but he seemed rather put out. Folks there are only two rooms in this place (although large)…could he not have sought me out if there was confusion??

Then when we were about to leave the first time…CJ was driving…I suppose I let a little disappointment show and said to H…”Apparently we’re leaving now, CJ just headed out to the kitchen”(near the door to leave).

Next thing I know (I’m all gathered up, jacket on, purse, drink nearly done) CJ has a beer in his hand and is sitting on the couch. So I look askance of him and he says something like this, in a rather unpleasant tone:

“Well I was told I was rushing out and you weren’t ready to leave”….OKAY, so H followed him out an lured him back to the party…but it was real clear he was ticked at me for suggesting that he wanted to leave before I did. (Like he was being a party pooper ).

So we eventually get in the car…total silence…he doesn’t even want the radio on. I ask him if H lured him back, what did she say? She’d repeated what I’d said, but played it up to CJ (I reminded him that she’s REAL GOOD at that!!)…After a few comments from me…about the snow, the road, the fox that ran across it…and NOTHING from him, I just shut up.

Now the thing is folks, CJ is always getting on me for NOT telling him right away when things bother me. But I don’t think he sees that he does the very same thing at times!! He is rather gruff today.

So yes, he was driving (I told him all of this in the car before silence prevailed) and it should be HIS decision when he wants to leave. I WAS all ready to go!! I’m just grateful that he drove us there, as I have such terrible night vision I couldn’t have done it myself.

I don’t know, folks. I had a GREAT time at the party, I’m pretty sure CJ did too, but what’s with all of these undercurrents???

Shiny